She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
