I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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