I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
4 words: hood of his car
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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