Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
