Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
