sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize