apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
