I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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