That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
