We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
