Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
