You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Betty ford says i'm here all night
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel like a drive thru vagina
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize