How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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