There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
