Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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