The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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