sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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