I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
