When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
