help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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