Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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