I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
