I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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