Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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