one might say we're banned from that church
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
