I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
