Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
