are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
