ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
