my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
