dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
40s are totally the cure
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
