I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
