It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize