you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
