Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
