I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
