made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
