I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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