She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
