that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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