I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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