Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
