wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
