this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize