P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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