After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
