I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
