Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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