maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
