like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
