He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
