kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize