just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
