woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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