Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
love makes seman taste better
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize