he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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