next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize