she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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