i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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