My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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