You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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