I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
