That's intense
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize