He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
