Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
