I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
