For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
