the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
